Microfiction #1 – Fire

I wasn’t sure at first that I would take part but here’s my entry into Marc@FinanceYourFire’s Microfiction Series. He states a word (in this case ‘fire’) and participants are asked to write a short story (less than 350 words) on the subject. Head over to the article to see his own and any other entries.

*Disclaimer* I’m not an aspiring writer – the idea just came to me as I was sitting on the tram on the way home from work. Quite why I was thinking such thoughts is anyone’s guess…

Here goes:

The girl stood there alone, waiting.

Trembling a little.

Fear or anticipation?

Trying to steady her breathing.

In through the nose, out through the mouth. In, out, in out.

She tried to relax her hands but the hands seemed no longer hers to command. They were the hands of a killer.

She was a killer. Wasn’t she? That’s what they were all saying.

She watched him approach.

Small beads of sweat formed rivulets down her brow, stinging her eyes.

The girl blinked rapidly to clear her vision and swayed to one side, just as Teacher’s heavy fist came crashing towards her face without warning.

It missed by a hair’s breadth, but she reared back a split second too slow for his elbow, which glanced off her chin, causing her to stagger sideways.

She had bitten her tongue, the blood tasted of old metal.

Teacher stepped forwards to grab her and she pivoted, spinning to try to get behind him but his grasping fingers caught hold of her hair.

The girl cursed herself for not taking the time to tie it up. Or shave it all off.

She struggled this way and that, twisting to avoid the onslaught of his kicks and punches. Two blows smashed into the side of her head making her see stars, but she managed to prise away a few fingers and wheeled away, leaving him holding a clump of long brown strands in his gnarly hands.

Her scalp was on fire. Blood dripped from her left ear.

Her breathing came out in ragged gasps and she made the effort to control it again.

In through the nose, out through the mouth. In, out, in out.

“You were always such a disappointment,” said Teacher, with a little sigh.

The girl grinned, showing her blood-smeared teeth.

No more running.

The time for respect was over.

“You were always my favourite teacher,” she said. “But not anymore.”

Teacher thought she sounded sad but as he looked into her eyes, he saw only death.

As the girl stepped calmly towards him, Teacher hesitated.

His final error.

14 thoughts on “Microfiction #1 – Fire

  1. Amazing!! I love the ending, gave me goosebumps 🙂 I’m so intrigued as to the teacher-student relationship! Masterfully written Weenie.

    • Cheers SN! I already had the ending in mind when I started writing – just needed to fill in the gaps with 350 words!

  2. I thought this was brilliant.

    Perhaps not what you were intending, but when I read: “In, out, in out.“, my head finished it off with “shake it all about”.

    The curse of taking my two year old to toddler groups every day is that I am the king of nursery rhymes.

  3. Love it Weenie! A great fighting scene and your final sentence is just perfect… Your story triggered lots of questions. Who was she? What had she been taught by her teacher? How did she kill him?

    The great thing with microfiction is that you can just leave it there.. Let our imagination do the answering 🙂

    Great you joined!

    • Thanks very much for the compliment, Dr FIRE – I couldn’t write like this if I planned it, I think it was because it was unplanned that I was able to write it!

  4. Great work. Action is so tricky to get right (and a lot of published authors can’t do it well). You absolutely nailed it with this one!

    • Thanks Caveman and again, high praise from someone like yourself, who like, indeedably, is a natural writer and storyteller.

  5. OOO – I really liked this Weenie! In fact now I want to know more, the background, why she was a killer and why Teacher had to be killed.

    Maybe a side hustle you might think about getting into – ebook fiction???!

    • Thanks Tuppenny and glad you enjoyed. I wouldn’t write as a side hustle – the pressure would be too great and there would be no joy in it for me!

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